We don't have long now until we go down to Charlotte for the IVF procedure. It's been a rough week, after I had injuries from an incident with our dog, who is more than half my weight (in muscle, whereas mine is fat!). I fell and hit my face on the curb. Walking around with a black eye is eye opening. You feel physically vulnerable, afraid to strike it (or the bashed arms or hand joints or knees) again. The physical vulnerability matches my emotional and spiritual vulnerability. Suddenly I wanted to just be in the arms of Jesus! Tears come easily- its supposedly from the trauma with these injuries and the hormone injections... but I know what it is. Intimidation. Satan wants us to believe this won't work, that our hearts will continue to feel broken.
But the truth is in God's word.
I have twenty minutes until we leave, yet I want to immerse myself in scripture to overcome the negative emotions! I Love this one I just "accidentally" turned to (there are no accidents in the Lord!!!) in my rush.
Deut. 31:8 The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you. Do not fear or be dismayed.Is our God awesome or what? He isn't promising the outcome will be the answer to my very specific prayers, but he says something better. That he is already there! That He is taking care of me, of us all!
I was reading in Lifestories by Mark Hall, lead singer of Casting Crowns. I read a hard chapter about the inspiration for "Praise you in this Storm".
He reminded me (the reader) to look at Psalm 121, "I lift my eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth..."
You have to hear it put to music. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHdcyue0bSw
Well here we go. But its all good, The Lord is already there as they thaw our little embryos and make them ready for my uterus.
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